And I'm Him
by Sagarmatha
Summary: One shot between Rose and Ten2 in the alternate universe in their first few days together. This is how I envision them being able to start their new relationship. Related to "I've Only Got One Heart."


The Doctor made his way down the spiral staircase with a big smile on this face and headed towards the dinning room for breakfast. This was their first morning back at the Tyler mansion. This was the first day of the rest of their lives together.

It had only taken two days to get back to the UK. He and Rose had used that time to catch up on all the things they had missed in each others lives since the last time they had seen each other at Bad Wolf Bay. The connection between them had slipped naturally back into place. It was more than he had hoped for initially, but he was grateful it had been so easy.

Now it was time to start the adventure of an everyday life and he planned on making the most of it.

"Hello you," Rose greeted him from the table as he entered.

"Good morning," he beamed back at her, grabbing a plate and tossing on a few items from the spread on the table before sitting down next to her, even though they were the only people in the room.

"You sleep well?" She asked putting down her fork and turning in her chair to face him.

"Mmhm," he replied, chewing and smilling.

Rose studied him as he took another bite and then turned back to her plate. She lifted her fork for a second and then put it back down. She reached for her coffee and then put her hand back in her lap. When she turned to the Doctor again, he was watching her.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I'm . . . I don't know. Still trying to wrap my head around this."

"Oh, well . . ." He started with a playful smile.

"I mean, you don't seem like a genocidal manic," she half-smiled, but the smile did not reach her eyes.

He had wondered when they would get here. He hadn't expected the tact the Doctor would take to get her to stay with him, but despite his protest, he had quickly understood. Now he would have to try to make her understand too.

"Rose," he began, "do you really think I would trust you with me if I were that dangerous?"

"Exactly," she said, "so the question is, was he lying to me?"

The Doctor took a moment to consider his answer. "No," he finally replied in a low voice.

"So, you need me more than him?"

Again the Doctor paused. "No," he admitted. "Maybe more deeply, I am part human, but no, not more."

"So, why did he try to convince me . . . I mean, he admitted he made you in anger, but I didn't . . .," She shook her head in disbelief. "He's just a guilty as you are! You wouldn't have been capable of it if he wasn't."

"Yeah," was all the Doctor could manage.

Rose considered this for some time, searching his face.

"I'm not nineteen any more," she told him, "I knew what I was getting myself into."

The Doctor nodded and she continued.

"I knew you would always have to be the man willing to crash a horse through a mirror, even knowing there was no way back."

The Doctor smiled and gave a small laugh to cover up the sting of her using the example of his recklessness that must have been the most painful to her. Rose remained serious.

"I was prepared for you to regenerate," she went on. "Just not soon," she look apologetic.

"Rose . . ."

"No, let me finish. I was ready for that life with you. I knew what I was giving up and you . . . he . . . he took that choice away from me. And now he's alone!"

The Doctor was aware that his only advantage was that he knew what Rose really wanted. She had told him so many times in so many ways, that he was a bit surprised that she hadn't realized it herself. Although since he had never been open enough with her, or himself, about the simple life he longed for, maybe it wasn't so shocking that she wouldn't allow herself to want that too. But now was not the time to point that out to her.

"He's got Donna," he lied, the one necessary lie. Although even he didn't think his other self would be able to deny himself another companion forever.

"I know, I know, The DoctorDonna," she managed a smile, "I suppose nothing could pry her away from him, but . . . if he feels anything like I did when I was alone then . . ." She started to cry.

"I know," he said, putting a hand on her knee. "And I know the pain he is feeling now. I've felt it before. The day I said goodbye to you on that beach. But. . ." He stopped, this voice cracking.

"Go on, but what?"

The Doctor hesitated. He wasn't sure if what he was going to tell her would help her understand or not. It may sound like an excuse but it was simply the truth.

"He was always going to feel this pain. He was always going to lose you. He only got to choose how and when. At least now he gets to think of you safe and happy."

Rose sobbed and stood up so quickly that her chair toppled over. She ran out of the dinning room and the Doctor follow her upstairs to her room. He found her sitting on her bed crying into her lap.

"Why can't I be with him? Why?" Rose pounded her fists on her thighs.

"You can," he told her, "Exactly how you want to be, exactly how he wishes he could be with you."

"But I can't."

"You have to make your choice now, it's your turn," the Doctor urged.

"What choice?" She challenged.

"This one," and the Doctor pull her up to stand in front of him, looking at her with a soft, knowing smile. Rose wiped her tears away as best she could and gave him a pained smile back.

"He made his choice so that I could make mine and I chose you."

"Instead of?" She sniffed.

"The Tardis."

Rose's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "That's what Donna meant, not the human bit. You were. . . you were giving yourself to me."

"We both were."

"Without knowing how I'd react?"

"Well," he smiled, "there was always . . ."

Rose punched him in the shoulder and then immediately pulled him in for a kiss.

The Doctor let himself be pulled against her, wrapping his arms around her tightly. For a few fleeting moments his Time Lord consciousness analyzed his body's unfamiliar reaction to hers: his pulse quickened, his senses sharpened, tiny muscles tightened. And then Rose glided her hands down his back and his awareness dedicate itself with alarming keenness to the press of her body, her taste, her smell. This was going to take some getting used to, but it was going to be worth it.


End file.
